wtf is this real life ?

welcome back.

over the last 2 weeks i have been beaten fucking senseless by the stars RNG. i also tend to find, when this happens, i don't play particularly well, so its a double whammy !! from a high of over $800 i hit the lows of $690 odds, wtf ? seriously wtf !!!!

[ the jammy bastard has gotten it all back and is on the right side of $800 - Ed ]

two weeks ago was smallestChilds birthday :) booked the day off .... but .... on the preceding night middleChild starts sicking up .... no biggie .... unless its half eleven at night and they are in bed .... ugh .... what a fucking mess !
this continues through the night, every hour or there abouts, fml !
the mrs decides this might be a good time to throw a sicky herself, wtf ? she spends half the night in the loo, fml.
middleChild stops throwing up about 9 next morning .... birthday morning, sigh .... about 10, i kneel down in front of the birthday girl, who is looking a wee bit wabbit .... BARF !!!! .... i am extremely extremely glad i had my mouth closed .... ugh .... what a fucking mess .... how i never caught their bug is beyond me !!

was supposed to be heading North of the border last weekend, see friends & family etc, etc .... err, no. due to the slightly inclement weather, trip postponed, sigh.

i run so good, huh ?

so i am heading North of the border this weekend .... err, no.
lunchtime today, i get a call from her mum, she aint well at all ! cant get out of bed, neighbour has taken oldestChild to school, middleChild is off school, hacking & coughing all over the fucking place, and good ole' mother-in-law has had to take a day off work to look after the kids !
so i get away from work and eventually get home to find the mrs still in bed with suspected swine flu !
so i have to head off to Boston (Lincs not Mass, btw) to get some damned tamiflu .... two fucking hours it took for a round trip of 20 miles, fml ! that town at 4pm friday afternoon is a fucking drivers nightmare !

i am soooo looking forward to the weekend, sigh.

the thought of playing on stars is almost comforting, almost.

pleasant dreams.

The Return of the Pink Salmon

welcome back.

played the britBlogger last night. what a hoot, up to a point :)

at my table i had badcallthat, Ca$hPredator, joppa-roadand his would-be-bitch (we'll come back to these two:), noCash and the Katitude. the delightful Mair would join us soon enough, along with Kronsdat .... not sure if that was before or after StanStanTheTaxi man decided he wanted theMonkey to have another week in the fair city of Edinburgh .... two weeks on the trot .... record ? .... same fcuking house .... record ?!!!!

The star attraction would show up later :)

now, at the time the banter started between JoppaRoad and WouldBe, i thought they were buddies ! not quite, so it would seem. an stars sat them next to each other, fcuking ace move right there !!
wouldBe "$50 bounty to JR if he can get into the knickers of any woman under the age of 60"
wouldBe "and an extra $25 if she weights less than 14 stone"
as per fucking usual, I misread the sign.
jopparoad "who's d1ck did you suck to get entry for this ?"
wouldBe "at $1 a go i had to suck more than one"

ah the britBlogger, such a fun, friendly, family game :)

I've started reading both their blogs, it aint fucking pretty, but it is pretty interesting. Kudos to both of them for their honesty.
Hell, i even have a cameo on wouldBe's blog, ha ha too funny. left a comment and his reply quite surprised me ! well played sir !
so these two degenerate gamblers are involved in a challenge .... hope they both do well, actually, and manage to keep hold of whatever they win .... remember guys, Bankroll Management :)

not long after, the table broke and i found myself sitting with these fish .... weegem not long for Falkirk eh ? ya jammy git !! BM, Daleroxxu, rchpro, sword-skillz defending champ .... could anyone oust him ? , Neil Ross and theCloud ....

so we banter along for a while, the fish all 3-betting each other left right and centre, then it happened ..... daleroxxu sets the tone for the entrance of the star attraction .....

daleroxxu goes all-in over weegem's initial raise .... AT v AK .... a ten on the flop sends weegem packing :(

so its all his fault for giving the idea to the stars RNG :)

so down to 2 tables, i'm now sat with -

SWORD-SKILLZ, badcallthat, Ca$hPredator, Al Eleven, rchpro, Joppa Rd, NoCash25 and Katitude

now as i recall, AlEleven had three hammers that i saw and got paid ! pushing fishes off post flop, nice :) the RNG had one last laugh before it went into overdrive .... my AA was good against AQ ....

first to go was joppa-road with KQ vTT .... he hit the straight on the river, badcall hit the boat, ouch.
then Ca$hPredator 88 no good against Al's QQ, gg but nae luck.

then, A3o v QQ .... Al Eleven v SWORD-SKILLZ, nae luck sword, its Al your playing, wow, Ace on the flop

and that was my downfall, folded AK pre, to the heavy betting, fucking woose, there was also a K on the flop too :(

rchpro sent Katitude to the rail, his 66 good v AJ

so 5 handed, bubble for the final table, and i push with 99 ... Al calls with AKs ....

*** FLOP *** [4d Tc 5h]*** TURN *** [4d Tc 5h] [Js]*** RIVER *** [4d Tc 5h Js] [Qc]

what a surprise ! good game me. actually thought i had a chance until the J appeared ....

now i obv don't have the hh, but from here on in, big stak Al Eleven got aggro, and anytime he got looked up, he called the all-in .... he got in behind on so many occasions i thought he'd started batting for the other team !!

lmfao, n1 Al Eleven, pleasure to see you at the felt again, and after kicking my ass, a real pleasure to watch you go on and win, the luckboxery you displayed was even better than our last home game, fucking outstanding big man !!

Al Eleven will be back next week to defend. surely not 2 in a row, again ....

pleasant dreams.

oh f m l

welcome back.

dropped $10 tonight ....

shouldn't be too hard on myself, first time for every thing ....

i turned quads .... wheeeeeeee .... no low, but who gives a fuck :)

he rivered a straight flush .... oh fml

so what the fuck do you call a straight flush 5-high ....

surely not ? .... a straight wheel .... can't be ....

sigh, fml (no fucking bad beat jackpot either, you bastard)

damn, i'm tired !

pleasant dreams.

The Return of the Pink Panther

welcome back, gentle reader.

oh yes indeed, its back .... the original, the biggest, the bestest tourney in the whole of the history of bloggerdom !

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oh and there is a bounty on my head ! wheeee famous at last :)

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the prop bets ....

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$5 bounty on theCloud's head ( by theCloud )

$10 for busting someone with the hammer ( by BurnleyMik )

$5 bounty on ResdentEvil's head ( by NFWS man .... aka Zagga )

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$5 last longest .... ( contact BurnleyMik )

$5 that a jock don't win ( contact BurnleyMik )

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i really hope Mik has had a good week elswhere ....

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oh and whoever is gigli must post theMonkey on their blog .... (no excuses, i still have the picture !)

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now there's a question, who was the last person to house said monkey ????

" but I thought you said NFWS .... "

welcome back, gentle reader.

I know I know, but I just could not resist ....

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sent my mate zagga a wee text today ....

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" nagging doubt .... that pallet .... was it owned by the NFWS ....

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National Fox Welfare Society .... "

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boom boom !!!!

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he is obv in great pain, the response took at least 5 minutes ....

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" LOL thats almost funny, you cuuunt ! :-) "

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( there is now an Official "zagga bounty" oan ma heid, in The Return of the britBloggerment ! )

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( lmfao, how much ? .... you tight cuuuunt !!!! )

" are you talking to moi ? "

welcome back, gentle reader.

i wonder what would have happened if i'd been really rude .... you know, called him a "cunt" or something ....

" .... have suspended your chat privilege for 24 hours ....

The following chat was observed

oh fcuk off
lol fcuk yoiu .... "

i was on tilt and its nice to rant .... havoc with the bankroll, but nice to rant .... :)