Wednesday, 18 December 2013

and now for something completely different. and now for something completely different.

welcome back

let's cut to the chase and get right to it. Poker.

After countless attempts, countless broken promises and a shitload of prevarication, mystifying rationalizations and misguided belief, I finally did it :)

Yes, I put together a few sessions of beer free poker.

Shocker, huh ? In fact it's such a shocker that I have started two databases. One has a standard date stamp type name. The other is called .... "beer o'clock" :) Hence the double barrelled title, lol.
Well I am only human and I am not going tea-fucking-total. (you'll see in a paragraph or two how un-fucking-tea-total I can be .. oops .... or should that be "wow, really" )

I'd love to tell you it's been a rip roaring success from the off but like all "new" activities, I suspect (hope ?) it will take me a little time to adjust. I tell you what though. It's a bit of an eye opener some of the absolute shit people play. I'd be down right embarrassed to go to showdown with some of their crap, lol. Well, if you've had a few you probably wont remember or you just go "shrug".
Beer free, I tend to say "wow, really". I tend to say "wow, really" rather a lot. Obviously I'm mostly a spectator but it still adds up to a lot of "wow, really". Rather a lot of hands go to showdown when you play limit. To cut a long story short, I'm down $3.50 over 2.5k hands. So, early days but two lessons learnt. Life tilt is akin to monkey tilt and I should not be sitting anywhere near the virtual felt when "things" are going on in the background. Wow, really ??!!
Volume is key. This is something I really really need to work on. It's taken me several days .. a week ? .. to "grind" through those hands and imho, it's fucking pathetic. Wow, really ??!! Real grinders will put that volume in on their morning session, lol. I know I'm only a recreational part timer, but still, it's fucking pathetic if I do say so myself :) So, something to aim for.

Enough babbling. Here are a few pretty pictures. What do you think of my artistic editing skills ??

not exactly the 100k hands I was hoping for :)

I'm afraid I'm only human and after that good work I thought I'd have a beer over the weekend. Wow, really ? Some players at the 25/50c table I was on don't think I'm human at all. They think I'm a fucking fish.
It's too painful to write about and in all honesty, it's really really fucking embarrassing. but PT4 does not lie.

nanostakes gains do not outweigh microstakes losses :(

Hands 1 & 2 - I got bad-beat/coolered/donked, take your pick.
Hands 3 & 4 - I butchered these and got my just desserts.

and as is blatantly obvious, doubling and even tripling my nanostake buy-in's just doesn't cover a buy-in and a half at a microstake table.
The most annoying part about forgetting my parachute is the fact that it started from the very first hand. Some fucking dickhead followed me to the river and got there. I could understand it if we were playing two card bingo but we were not. It's four cards you fucking halfwit ! On a KK3r flop he got frisky. I had a king. The river card brought the flush. Guess what he flipped over ? Ace Two Three Eight .... wtf ? You stoopid stoopid fuckwit. He didn't even have a suited ace ffs ! He had the flush with 2d3d, lol. What a fucking dickhead. Can you tell I was a wee bit annoyed ? So there you go. That started my (free)fall from grace, lol.

and finally. Lessons learnt. Don't play with real life distractions going on in the background, duh. More volume required, of the beer free variety, duh.

I am glad I gave it a go and after the weekend I'll be returning to the beer free variety. Hope you have a good one, whatever your plans and I'll see you next week.

pleasant dreams

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The change is as good as the rest

welcome back

"Do you want to play poker against the professionals ?" (posted this quote before, from twittR)

No ? and neither do I. So what's one to do about it ?

Well, stop being pig headed and head on over as a new player (poker sign-up offers) to a good old Brit site. or should that be Irish ? Anyways, they've been about in their current incarnation since the late 80's and I think your money is safe their :)
Their poker client is a skin (runs) on the iPoker network which is pretty much Euro/Brit-centric, so no more playing at silly o'clock, if you don't want to, obv. Pretty sure they (Paddy Power) are the largest bookies in Europe .... but lets get back to the poker !!
They opened their poker business in 2005 and moved to iPoker in 2007. Oft pegged as controversial I think this just gives the company more character than the countless other skins so I've no probs pointing you in their direction.

Now, I honestly would not ask you to do something I wouldn't, so I've been on over to the Power site and signed up :)
Playing under the name of Mysterons , I'll hopefully see you there :) as a small aside, there are variation games running. wheeee !

Oh, the full twittr quote was
"The most stupid question on the internet is: ""Do you want to play poker against the professionals?""
Of course I fucking don't. I don't want to lose my money. I want to play against a toddler, someone with a head injury . . . and a cat that has signed in accidentally by walking across the keyboard."
Now I reckon paddyPower could do something with that .... then again, perhaps you can see why I am not head of marketing :)

pleasant dreams