Friday, 28 September 2007

Spartacus - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

all the money went in on the flop, obviously, doh !

The Darwin Awards - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

sometimes i just shake my head in disbelief. this could end up with more parts than "presto".

or as one of " the losers, inc " said "birds to fucking smart"

$1 45-man mtt on FT [ and it goes somethin like this ]

roadRunner [sb] t2,000 ....... dealt Ax diamonds
wileEcoyote [bb] t2,000 ...... dealt Kd3 single suited

roadRunner calls, wileEcoyote raises, roadRunner calls

[xxx] all diamonds

roadRunner checks, wileEcoyote bets, roadRunner min raises, wileEcoyote calls

is a blank, not a king and not a three ...

roadRunner checks, wileEcoyote bets, roadRunner min raises, wileEcoyote calls

is a blank, not a king and not a three ...

roadRunner bets, wileEcoyote min raises, roadRunner re-raises, wileEcoyote re-re-raises all-in, roadRunner calls .......


roadRunner shows Ax diamonds, and wins with flush Ace high
wileEcoyote [bb] shows K3, and loses with, king high

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Colt Peacemaker .45 - pt 1b

welcome back, gentle reader.

thanks mair for your comments. not "really" funny, but you gotta laugh, all that water going back in the damned thing ... and "boom" ... ha ha ha ... stan u plonker !!
re the A&E, now u mention it, Scott did seem to enjoy the attention and of course limping soooo badly round the room every 10 mins :)

and last nights poker. stuck with the $1 45-man tourneys on FT, managed a total of fifteen of the damned things now, playing a whopping six ! of the buggers last night ... managed to blag another 2nd :) woot !!

as you may have guessed, i am going to play forty five in total and see whats what.

last nights highlight happened when we got it down to six handed, i was the shorty, chip leader was 2-1 up on his nearest rival, he was 8-1 up on me ffs !!
blinds increase to 500-1000 and chip leader raises to 3k from UTG ... not sure why, but i immediately sussed this was the way he was going to play from here on in ... and he did ... every single hand raise !!
he of course raises my bb and with A-rag i call all-in ... he had 64o or crap like it ... i spiked an Ace to stay in.
i am the only one to call him, so next hand he raises, and i type

"guys, I dont mind second place :)"

on my next bb he raise and with 8 fcuking high i fold. i fold my sb as well :( and then on the button i see QQ ... woot ! please raise please raise ... he does, i push all-in and he calls with a gawd damn A-rag ... i spike the Q and double up to 8k ... and 2nd place ... well, i did tell the idiots :)
another orbit and we are heads up. a short contest, he still raised every hand and was 7-1 leader. managed to get up to 16k, he was just over 3-1 at this point, and re-raised with AJ and he calls with KQ ?? he had a K and spiked one on the flop, fair enough I suppose.

hopefully another exciting !! post tomorrow *)

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Colt Peacemaker .45 - pt 1a

welcome back, gentle reader.

cannot believe i have let it slip so badly and not posted for a week !

lets get the poker out the way first.

been running this week with the $1 45 man mtt donkaments at FT. think i've managed about ten or so and it aint pretty. a combination of bad play and suck out city !
for the record, i have only managed one in the money and that was second place.
i'm sure some of you have experience of these things, but as a prime example, here is a quite unbelievable 5-way all-in ...... ( and no, i resisted calling before you ask ) ...... this is early doors, the five combatants all have 1500 ish chips !! so the winner rockets into the lead with t7,500 ......

AA v 88 v J3s v KTs v 99 ...... so who won ?

answer forthcoming later, i am off for some dinner :))

...... well the guy with J3 obviously ... ended up with the str8, involving the 3 mind and not his J :)

and a quick resume of the beats i have taken
my A-rag v T3 ...... he rivered the 3
my AKs v ATo ...... a ten on the flop, is that a beat or just a coinflip ? ( felt bad ! )
my KQ v AJ ...... a Q on the flop and in went the chips, the ace arrived on the river
my AA v K8o .... wtf ?? ...... K on the flop and the 8 on the turn
and of course my AJ v 66 ...... flop 45J ... turn 7 ... gawd damn 3 on the river

lol, checked a few HH and there are a fair few more beats ! but i wont bore you any longer.

played 9 so far (36 to go) best place 2nd :) worst place 29th :(

poker players may stop here. the rest of this is a general ramble.

not exactly a standout month, real life has thrown a few my way ...

the exhaust snapped on my car :( took it to National, guy puts it up on the ramp, shows me where the break is ... on the engine side of the joint ... fcuk ... so i need a new rear section and mid section ....... £178 ... fcuk !

H says, the washing machine drum not turning. easy, the belt has fallen off. and it had. got the bugger back on ... test wash and spin .... machine fills with water, drum turns, result ! ....... machine fills with more water ?? but hey, the drum still turns ... machine fills with more water ... oh fcuk .... and finally fills with more water, up past door level !! bottle went and i turned it off, set it to drain, which thankfully it did ... and the belt fell off, again :(
looked like the main board was gubbed. looked up the price, getting on for £100 ... plus someone to fit ... and if it was not the main board ? bugger that, new machine:( please ....... £230 ... fcuk !
so no washing for a week ... 3 kids ??? ... hard to describe how much all that washing looks like ... chinese laundry, anyone ??

did i mention my eldest slashed his knee ? while helping daddy take apart some metal shelving from the garage. right across his kneecap ... ouch !! 2 hours in A&E is a long time to amuse a 5 year old ! the nice doc cleaned it and glued it and no tetanus ? anti-tetanus ? jag required, thank the stars.
positive i mentioned that before.

had to laugh, tho it nearly killed me, and admit defeat ! need to remove 16 concrete paving slabs from the drive and replace with decorative chippings ( help sell the house, apparently ). turned out way to much physical labour for this unfit git ... any idea how much a 3' x 2' concrete paving slab weighs ? .... managed four of 'em, gotta break 'em up to get them in the car and off to the dump ... gave up for fear of doing myself srious harm ! now need to look in the local rag for some "help"

enough is enough, roll on october ! a live game, somewhere, with ra trout !!

any and all welcome ... to Acorn's that is :))

Sunday, 16 September 2007

The Time Machine

welcome back, gentle reader.

I will be right back .......

don't panic, i'm back, not lost in time like our intrepid un-named hero. in case you are wondering, i just popped back to see where my one day weekend went ...

friday night. managed to fire up the poker in time for rTr league game. think i managed fifth, no money but points in the bag as ricky bust before me. i was knackered and with no beer ffs !! managed bed by the witching hour, much to H's surprise. ( get in yer time machine, scoot forward a few lines to see where H came from )
saturday morning, swimming with my eldest. after lunch a trip to the builders merchant ... as the song said, " and it was shut " ! off home again, tea time :) kidz all bathed, get them off to bed, then made the mistake of dropping into our local blockbuster ... at mrs dD's suggestion ... fk it, i hate that term " mrs dD " so lets call her by her proper name ... " H " ... thats better ! ah yes, blockbuster ... and i thought they rented dvd's ... well, up to date ones anyway. honestly, my movie collection is better. what a waste of fcuking time. eventually found something watchable with Denzell Washington. attempt to watch a 2 hr movie ... poor wee Hannah, chest infection, on double dose antibiotics, just started eating again yesterday ... no full nappies for two days ... decides that tonights the night for a full nappy release ... twice ... i swear to god, a small elephant would have been proud !! a serious two man job cleanup operation :) just as well i was not ensconced in front of the pc ... think we watched the movie in a little over 3 hours, ho hum.
off H went to bed .. btw, H and I are getting along short term ok ... but... there are two long term problems we face and i have no clue as to how to resolve them. made H well aware of them ( she has never acknowledged them before ) and to be honest i think she is a bit stumped as well :(
so fired up the poker, accompanied by a few small glasses of red wine. been hitting the $1 45-man mtt's on fullTilt and pokerStars. doing not to badly since i really really really find it hard to concentrate for such small stakes ... you should be proud of me Mik :)
stars is good, since i play the rTr friday game and the bloggerment, both $5, my roll is still over the initial $100, thanks to two first places in the one dollar mtt.
fullTilt ... well, it was ok until i ran into this retard. i get the bullets, push in half my stack (t600) one caller, push the rest in on a K high flop and he calls ... with K8 off ... and of course hit his 8 for a wonderful two pair ... retard. pissed me off no end so i fired up two $10 stt's ... busto in both for fuck all return ... hee haw !! dented my FT roll down to $85... damn it !

damn, look at the time ... " I will be right back ....... "

just checked, fullTilt $ 82 ....... pokerStars $ 119

where was i ?
ah yes, Sunday. up early with the boys, H went back to bed for some much needed shuteye. she was up two hours later and me and the youngest boy shoot off to the swimming pool. our local authority state that any children under 8 needs one to one supervision :) i really enjoy these one to one with the boys, great fun :)
back home for a late lunch, get my mum over for a few hours to watch the kids ... i thought i would get a few hours to myself as H said she didn't want to do anything, hah ! she decides she needs out, so off we go for coffee ... and a troop round the supermarket for dinner. back home, tea time ! then baths for the boys and off to bed for story time ...

and i quite literally sat down to play the bloggerment 1 min before the start ...

so i hope your weekend went well and yours seemed like a 3 night 2 day affair.

sigh, not long 'till friday ...

Friday, 14 September 2007

True Romance - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

been have a little think ... groan ... about the way forward for my wayward online poker career :) more or less decided that i will withdraw all the smaller funded accounts at various sites. then load up my three main accounts at stars, FT and party.
at least then, using miks br management i won't have to grind away in $1 tourneys, well, thats the theory.

damn, means i will have to fill out all the crap that bodog, sorry, newBodog, require for me to withdraw my $180 from there.

and speaking of problem sites, anyone having trouble with party ?
my problem is actually trying to get the gawd damn software to run !! tried to fire it up several times this week and every time it launches ok, click the log-in button and it locks up !!
uninstalled and reinstalled several times, all to no avail ... i have $300 on there ffs ! one more try tonight, then i suppose it will be time to phone them :(

played a few stt's wednesday and thursday, got absolutely no joy at all ... whats new ...

almost forgot, and dont ask why, but a 20k guaranteed caught my eye on wednesday night.

i think there were 155 runners

... but ... but ... oh-my-fcuking-god-why-did-i-enter ... it was a $100 + $9 buy-in .....

man, what a buzz ! did ok, won $104 so only down five bucks :))

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Battle of the Alamo - pt 1a

welcome back, gentle reader.

apology to cell1919, re his comment on previous " Battle ... " post,

here is the full comment *) he he he

" Proof that poker's all luck.

sneaky ! you need to scroll down to see the whole comment !!

brilliant, mate, sheer class :))

But that class always wins out in the end;)

Well done :) "

True Romance - H.O.R.S.E. pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

full Tilt ...... 8 man stt HORSE $1.25 - 3rd for $1.60

pokerStars 8 man stt HORSE $3.40 - 1st for $12

crypto ....... 198 man mtt nlhe £5.50 - 8th for £19

1hr 44mins - 18 left ...... ave t16.500 ....... me t27.620
2hr 02mins - 10 left ...... ave t30.000 ....... me t20.000
2hr 05min - out in 8th ... my QQ v JJ ... he spiked a J on the turn ffs :(

two hands i liked from the above mtt [ ... its late, post the other tomorrow :) ] [second hand posted below]

the table is full, only those shown are in the action
Seat 2: Ekbalco (16510 in chips)
Seat 4: Tigercub (15255 in chips)
Seat 5: dD (7240 in chips) .......................... i am the big blind
Seat 9: Angel025 (10541 in chips)

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to dD [4s Qh] ...................................... monster !!

Angel025: calls 400
Ekbalco: calls 400 ............ uber aggro foe
Tigercub: calls 200
dD: checks

----- FLOP ----- [4c Qs Qc] .............. can u believe the flop !

Tigercub: checks
dD: checks
Angel025: checks
Ekbalco: checks

----- TURN ----- [4c Qs Qc][8c] ............. lets hope someone has the flush

Tigercub: checks
dD: checks
Angel025: checks
Ekbalco: bets 1600 ................. new he couldn't resist :)
Tigercub: folds
dD: raises to 4000 .................. make it look like a re-raise steal
Angel025: folds
Ekbalco: calls 2400

----- RIVER ----- [4c Qs Qc 8c][6h]

dD: bets 2790 and is all-in ........ simple push here
Ekbalco: calls 2790 .................. simple call for him

dD: shows [4s Qh] (A Full House, Queens full of Fours) ... a much needed double up
Ekbalco: shows [Ac 7c] (A Flush, Ace high) ................. he actually had a hand !!
dD collected 15680 from Main pot

Hold'em NL (300/600) - 2007/09/12 - 00:54:44 (UK)

Seat 1: Kinggazza (26503 in chips
Seat 2: dD (15855 in chips
Seat 3: EastKin (13620 in chips
Seat 4: pup1 (12211 in chips
Seat 5: Ekbalco (40083 in chips
Seat 6: Romarinho (1260 in chips
Seat 7: Stazz66 (17866 in chips
Seat 8: Der160115 (23235 in chips
Seat 9: Girlsbum (24953 in chips
Seat 10: Blytho (15358 in chips

Kinggazza: posts small blind 300 ...... dD: posts big blind 600

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to dD [Qd 8h]

Romarinho: raises to 1185 and is all-in
Der160115: calls 1185
Blytho: calls 1185
Kinggazza: calls 885
dD: calls 585

----- FLOP -----
[8c 8s 3c]

Kinggazza: checks
dD: bets 1800 ...................... check down an all-in ?? on that flop !!
Der160115: folds
Blytho: calls 1800 ................ hmmm am i gonna get outkicked
Kinggazza: folds

----- TURN -----
[8c 8s 3c][2d]

dD: bets 2400
Blytho: calls 2400

----- RIVER -----
[8c 8s 3c 2d][Ah]

dD: bets 3600
Blytho: calls 3600 ................ had he raised, i was in a serious dilema

----- SHOW DOWN -----

dD: shows [Qd 8h] (Three of a kind, Eights, Ace high)
Romarinho: mucks hand [Kd Td]
Blytho: mucks hand [7h 7s]

dD collected 15600 from Side pot #1
dD collected 6675 from Main pot

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

True Romance - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

this is a poker related post ... mostly.

lmfao @ cell1919 comment on previous post
"Proof that poker's all luck." ....... *) ....... you forgot to mention its also rigged ...

and a little story, from tonight.
my mate who "emigrated" to deepest darkest Sussex and a job in the big smoke ...
he phones and says his internet is not working ... what lights are on, on your router i ask ... yada yada yada ... 47 mins later and no resolution to his busted connection and he says - before i phone tech support, i'll just plug the phone into the socket the router is plugged into, just to check the socket works ... wtf ??
turns out the phone he is talking on was plugged into another socket, obvious huh ? and the socket the computer is plugged into ... no dial tone ... ho hum, saved me two bucks in entry fees, i suppose.

and so to the poker ...

for the past few ... ( 4 or 6 ) ... months, i have been a truly truly recreational player.
and that type of player, as we all know, is a losing player simply because he does not really care whether he wins and more importantly loses.
simply writing off any losses with a "foxtrot oscar" in the chat box.
well, his loss was due to a horrendous bad beat, surely ?

lmfao ... not ...

i decided i had better check the old finances to see how bad the rot really was.
the online $ accounts are not as bad as expected, about $40 down since june. and thats only because i won a $2 mtt to the tune of $200 on virgin the other month and have not played there since.
there is also a false economy at work here, since i have been loading some of my accounts with 40 here 50 there, directly from neteller, to buy into larger buy-in mtt's ... ooops !
the online £ accounts are way up since june ( two hh mtt wins ) but way down since july ( no hh mtt wins ).
and no, i have not chequed my neteller balance.
that can wait 'till late tonight, when all the dD household are safely tucked up in bed ... neteller will have a big fcuking hole in it and i don't want the boys to see daddy cry. ho hum.

all change please ! and i'd like my change, plus interest, back where it belongs, thank-you-very-fcuking-much.

i know i can play a bit.

you dont win two britbloggers, a rTr league game, a rTrPOWS bracelet, two headhunter mtts, a 4,000 plus field HORSE mtt or even a two dime 200 strong field by being a complete donkey ... do you ?

and you cannot be a real donkey until you push the milkMan off his hand by raising pre-flop, bet the flop, bet the turn, bet the river ... he folds ... you show him 27o theHammer ...... snigger snigger

so unless you think i am flat-out-fucking-lying, you know i can play some decent poker, if required.

"isn't it ironic" sang alannis ... that he wrote a bankroll management post the other day and i thought ... wow !
i truly truly need some of that !
thank you burnleyMik *)

a conservative variation on his theme, this is how i'll try and work it.

stt - 50 buy-ins ....... cash - 30 buy-ins ....... mtt - 5% of 'roll

the hard part is having the discipline to stick to these simple rules.
and what if i bust at a particular site ?
game over for the month if that happens. at the moment i am only prepared to play with fifty quid a month :)
i think i'll leave the £ on crypto and play the headhunters the $5 ones and stay the fuck away from the $20 plus mtts. i have a few hundred at party and at virgin so we'll see how that goes.
gonna make up FT and 'stars to $100 and apply full management to all these sites. starting tonight.

Q where have you seen HORSE being played ? (stars and full tilt are the ones i know of)

Friday, 7 September 2007

Battle of the Alamo - pt 1

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

btw before we get go,
to anon. who commented "why is the reader always gentle? I would have thought ferral would be more apt."
i did double check the meaning of "ferral" and the dictionary tells us [ye canny fuking spell ...... do not take part in a spelling bee anytime soon :)]
lets start again, so how about "feral" ??
and the dictionary tells us ...... "feral a. wild"
and a fuller explanation from a modern online dictionary
feral adj. 1.
a. Existing in a wild or untamed state.
b. Having returned to an untamed state from domestication.
2. Of or suggestive of a wild animal; savage
[From Latin fera, wild animal, from ferus, wild]

i am not entirely sure you should be insulting my reader in this manner, perhaps thats why you are anon. [snigger snigger]

back to the get go.
ran across this blog, ok ok, so i am a nosey sod and could not resist clicking the link on diesel's blog, now before your curiosity gets the better of you, this blog is, as far as i can tell so far, completely unrelated to poker in any shape or form, you have been warned.
in fact, before you go visit, read this comment ......

... as a commenter, another lady to boot, on diesel's blog said, somewhat more eloquently than i
"Karen is very intelligent and very blunt and very open about her mental health and/or lack thereof. ....... Unless she is flat out fucking lying on her blog--she's got a real struggle that --thank god --most of us don't."
by karen
i could only read the first page and had to take a break, but i will go back, from time to time to see how she is getting on.
personally, i quite admire karen and good luck to her ( and her hubby too ! )

mik - was being straightforward in a lateral kinda way, basically the villain truly fcuked himself with his beautiful fancy play syndrome ...
oh and the fact it seemingly never ever crossed his mind that the hero could actually have a better hand, especially on the flop with the K as an overcard
... and i should know !
ffs ran into your KK several times alone in the last few weeks :((
personally, i'd probably have played it the same way as the villain ... doh ! ...... except i'd have popped it on the flop :)

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

" Down on Mission Street " - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

now here are two ways to play a hand !

imho, the hero plays it superbly, the villain ... well, how to fcuk up a powerhouse hand
((the twin goddesses of poker are my favourite hand))

here's the synopsis, with the link to the full thoughts and actions of the hero afterwards

***hole cards***
hero - [ KQ ] suited (in the bb)
two limpers
villain raises 4bb
hero calls
two limpers call

***flop*** [ KQ7 ]

hero checks ......... brave but rash, no idea where u are the hand
two limpers check ...
villain ... checks ... dumbo's biggest mistake ... wtf ? ... seriously, wtf ??

***turn*** [KQ7] [K]

hero bets 3bb ............ a little fishing
two limpers fold
villain raises to 9bb ... we have a bite ( did he even think about KK ... )
hero calls

***river*** [KQ7] [K] [2]

hero ... checks ...... give 'em enough rope
villain bets half his remaining stack ...... did u collapse laughing at this ?
hero re-raises all-in
villain calls all-in

hero shows [KQ] full house Kings and Queens
villain shows[QQ] full house Queens and Kings

hero WINS ... foxtrot oscar villain.

full thoughts of the hero, right here - by daddy

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

"and now for something completely different" - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

lets get this show on the road. an uber post, sort of, with a little bit of artistic licence, since everyone else has done the writing *) i mean, come on, where would i find the time to write all this ??

lmfao mate ! the title says it all *) click on over there for a bit of rambling, long winded style.
by Acorn

now when i read this one, i thought, yeah, you might be right, good point. then i read the comments and rosie makes a very good point indeed. think i vote for her point of view in the long run.
by Acorn

so you all thought it was safe to google "hairy gymnast" ... think again. its not safe to go back in the water...
by theCloud

and this is what happens when ... you are a footie fan ... or is it just leeds supporters ...
by cell1919

an "old" face re-appears ... strangely comforting when this happens, oh and he played the bloggerment
by TanOrpheous

and a rare post here. dont worry, i appreciate your humour mate *)
by theEdge

now i like the sound of this little challenge. good luck, keep us updated
by mrSaban

and this makes my losses look small. need to pick it up again mate, good luck.
by 20kmission

more from the mailbag tomorrow, maybe.

"who's a bleeding motherfucker now ?" - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

i thought i'd write a post, specifically to thank you guys and girls for your comments, nay advice !
I often think that some comments should not be left unaddressed, often very important, often "lost" as soon as the next post appears.
you are all correct in one way or another ... except acorn !! you are probably more qualified to advise than you actually realise, mate !! :)

Joe - you made me laugh, twice ! to generate comments even i could come up with something more inflamatory ... racism & religion anyone ?? so i wrote the post as truthfully as i could, as a "subtle" reminder, to me, that all is not well. ((the rss bit intrigued me so i went and had a read. i now have all the blogs i read on rss in "windows live" ... good thing bad thing - easy to read all the blogs, easy not to comment. - you lazee sod !! lol no. 1))
"you're a long time dead ..." made me laugh ... but how very very true !

rosie "there are lots of things i could say to a lot of your posts" - why dont you ? (am i safer not knowing ...)
and i did say "shitty life" which is indeed a poor way to describe it. a better and truer description would be "i am unhappy with things in my life"
ty rosie, you are spot on, i do need to start addressing my stuff.

juice - nice to see you are still about. "... to recognise that things have run their course ..." & "Lifes disappointments ..." so true and apt, ty for the sound advice.
are you sure you are only twenty something ??

thanks ... now, about this poker lark ......