Friday, 31 August 2007

"who's a bleeding motherfucker now ?"

welcome back, gentle reader.

btw committed to play the HORSE and PLO tonite, but if i am missing, i'm sure you'll understand ... hey, free chips are free chips ...... bugger, and the HU final ......

today i really really wanted to uber it up Iggy style. i have a load of links to insert and point u donkeys in the direction of some great reading ... but real life got in the fucking way ......

did the title get your attention ? i certainly hope so, after all, i so wanted to reserve that particular title for a big success i had in some big mtt somewhere down the line. instead, i have been forced to use it for something other than that, not at all pleasant at all, either.

and to what (whom) does the title allude to ...... er well, me, actually ......

other titles that sprang to mind ......
"i read the news today, oh boy ... the beatles"
( for the life of me i cannot remember the actual song title, weird huh ? )
"I know now why you cry." - Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Qtex - The Power of Love (sic)(but what a fantastic song)
( humour is my fight or flight ... i seek humour in most nasty/painful things)

ho ho ho ... and you thought i'd never get around to the poker, did you ... well, the bitch that is variance, has come to visit, big time. right now i could not hit the side of a barn with a shotgun :)
just as well i have been donking around in low stakes mtt's. and i don't think i have been playing that bad ... you all know the story ...
tptk ... they have two pair ... trips v better trips ... small boat they have big boat, ouch ! that one really sucks ... and of course the obligatory four diamonds on the board so they suckout a flush to crush your trips, doh ! that one really hurt as well :(
so there is the problem ... here are the answers :))

The top 8 reasons When not to play poker:

When you are tired
When you are stressed: If you have other things going on, like an ongoing argument with your partner ...
When you are drunk
When you are stressed: If you have other things going on, like an ongoing argument with your partner ...
When you are not in the mood
When you are stressed: If you have other things going on, like an ongoing argument with your partner ...
When table conditions are bad
When you are stressed: If you have other things going on, like an ongoing argument with your partner ...

are the muddy muddy waters becoming clear ?

i was worried about the lack of comments, worried that anyone was reading this at all, in fact ! a quick visit to statcounter and my faith is restored :) you shower of lazee bastards !
stats tells me i get around a dozen new visitors a day ... wheeeee !!
soa comment or two would not go amiss, please. even if the subject matter of the post is complete drivel, i am sure you could liven it up with your comments ... humourous or otherwise ...

.... so back to the real life coronation street that is my shitty life ... this is getting painful ...

to be continued, after 16.00 today, when i finish work ...

welcome back, gentle reader.

i am not entirely sure how to continue ... feel like i'm washing dirty laundry in public, so to speak. I wont bore u with detail, as far as i am concerned we are both to blame and as bad as each other. We are, after all, supposed to be responsible adults.
Since i am getting my words in a pickle, i will share a text i received this morning, from my mates wife, also mrs dD's good friend ... so the poor woman is quite literally piggy in the middle !
Except this morning her and hubby and kids set off for englandshire, never to return, as hubby has a new job in the big smoke ... good luck to you both !!
anyway, she sent this text, which caught me by surprise, but brought into sharp focus how bad things have gotten ...

btw why am i writting this shit down ? a reality check for me, head out the fucking sand time.

the original text:

my parting gift:
my last advice 2 u.
U and H both know its the end
why not b adult bout it,
sit down, tlk properly,
try come 2 an amicable split emotionally and finacially?
Mk life so much simpler!
J xx

the reply:

dear sweet J
i know it, u know it,
but will H admit it ?
if she does, i am willing
to be adult about it
and amicable !!

the last text:

i think she will,
yes, she does know it;
i guess its just hard 2
admit it after so long 2gether,
u wonder what there is after !
i just want u both 2b happy &
u nd 2b apart 4 that !
show her my text if it helps
i hope you can resolve things
J xx

when you put all the crap to one side,

its quite simple,

we just don't get on, anymore.

Sunday, 26 August 2007

MIA - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

yo da gambler ...... where ya gone baby ??

Thursday, 23 August 2007

rTr league and cup - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

just finished the HU semi final against Mair ...

nice tight game with a lot of poker played running thru the streets.
chipped up to t1700 then back down to almost even and this happened ...

in the small blind and i get dealt 5dJd, i call, mair checks (blinds only 15/30)

*** FLOP *** [Td 3d Jh]
Mair38: bets 120
ResdentEvil: calls 120
*** TURN *** [Td 3d Jh] [9c]
Mair38: bets 120
ResdentEvil: calls 120
***RIVER*** [Td 3d Jh] [9c] [Kc]
Mair38: bets 150
ResdentEvil: folds ..... fairly sure i am beat here ... or a good bluff ??
Mair38 shows [KdJs] (two pair, Kings and Jacks)

whew ! beat ... almost taken to the cleaners !

so its now t1250 v t1750

managed to chip up a little to t1340 v t1660 :)
and then this ...

i am dealt JcJd ... nice
RE raises 30 to 60
Mair38 raises 90 to 160 ...... hmmmm, lets see .....
RE raises 90 to 240
Mair38 calls 90

2dTcAh ........ gawd damn fcuking Ace .......
Mair38 bets 150 ....... nice one ....... doh !
RE folds

ouch !!

down to t1100 v t1900 ...... not looking good .... oh crap
and of course it got worse ... dropped to t995 at one point .....

then i got Kd3d and flopped a K and wouldn't let go to Mairs bets of 150 on the flop and turn and collected a nice pot of 700
in the lead with t1730 v t1270

shortly after, the turning point in the game

i look down to see AQo with blinds 25/50 and raise it to 100 and mair calls
the flop is 964 rainbow ... not really what i wanted to see especially if mair called with Ax and spiked a pair
i bet 200 ... Mair calls
turn is a 7, with two diamonds on the board as well ... gawd, this is getting worse ....
i bet 200 ...... Mair calls ...... i am worried now :(
river is a 7h ... board is paired, flush draw gone but possible straight ....
i bet out 200 .... Mair38 thinks ...fold please ... thinks ... fold please please !! ... thinks ... folds
i collect a t1000 pot ... gawd that was close :)

now t2380 v t620

in the final hand soon after it was t2405 v t595

i pick up Kd5d
Mair38 raise 150 to 200 and i flat call
flop 76T with two diamonds :))
i bet 200 and mair38 calls .... hmmmm ... have you hit a set i wonder ???
turn 5s
i bet 200 and Mair38 calls 195 and is all-in
river 6h

giving me two pairs ... is it enough ....
Mair38 shows AdJc ....

whew !!

excellent game Mair, well played !

and who do i get in the final ... none other than mr cloud :))

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

The Royal Mint - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

as ever time marches on, i wanna post this and scan the bloggosphere and check rTr and check emails ... and maybe even play some poker ... ho ho ho.
I promised i'd do a financial check when i got around to it. done it and not sure its all that pretty. I'm sure you guys will tell me if i am doing ok or if i am indeed a fucking donkey and should immediately go take up knitting !
one thing i am unsure about is how to keep a record of my poker cash ? should i do as others do and periodically post my total poker cash or more likely put the totals into sidebars on this here humble blog ? probably the latter, as this will keep me relatively honest ... this is after all more for me than for you, if i may be so selfish !!

okeley dokely, the hard facts ....

btw did anyone notice, in one of da gamblers screenshots, yours truly is at the table, and the little note thingy is clearly seen against my position !!!
note prolly goes like this ... "he thinks he can play, jesus, what a fcuking FISH" ... oh well, personally, since i'm a glass half full type of guy, i will take it as a huge compliment :))
whatever the damn thing says .... and under no circumstances baby, do i want to know whats in it !!

The Royal Mint - £ fund poker only bank account ( spend this = officially bankrupt :)
Federal Reserve - £ funds in online bank, reserved for the bigger buy-in tourneys
Bank of America - $ funds online in active play
Bank of England - £ funds online in active play

gawd i need a smoke afore i commit this to the record ... brb

ok, i am back, this is what it looks like :

back at the beginning of July I had an active online balance of $1,000 with nothing in my online bank account and about £2,000 in my poker only bank account. but, always a fcuking but, which i have never taken into account before btw, some of my online funds are native £ sterling accounts .... not a short term problem but if the $ strengthens then my online funds will start to drop ... hence the introduction of £ funds online :)) although this adds up to $5k it should be closer to $4200 as i bought electronic goodies to the tune of $800 during the month of july ... ouch !

the latest figures are -

active online $1700
active online £ xxx *** fcuk it, need to check and add it up
bank online £535
offline bank £1,000

ffs !! i am stunned ! thats getting on for $5k ......

just a quick add up and it dont look too pretty. lets update and explain.

active online $1700
correct at the current exchange rate. minus $105 for a big buy-in at bowankers. this win should have been transferred straight back to online bank !! and minus funds which are native £ sterling accounts

bank online £535
should be closer to £800 with all my big buy-in wins. lets see, should be plus £50 from bowankers and plus £120 for the cheque i was sent .... nearly £700 so only a ton down for all the gawd damn headhunter's i entered ... well, i did re-load several times before i won :))

offline bank £1,000
this has dropped because i bought some electronic goodies ( £400 ) and funded my "bank online" to the tune of six hundred for my big buy-in experiment

so overall, i am up $500 ish. woot !!!!! no mean feat for my small stakes game. i will get these figures linked up on the right hand side of the blog and update monthly ... perhaps every other month. I deffo need to do this as my record keeping is truly atrocious and i really want to see how things pan out this year.

this years aim ? break even or show a little profit :))

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish

welcome back, gentle reader.

straight to it, as its way past my bedtime and for reasons explained below, i've been surfing around the bloggerdom and catching up with the weekends action, or lack thereof.

it had to happen eventually. i mean, i have spent so so long in bloggerdom during working hours, that a "flag" was bound to be raised somewhere along the gawd damn line.

Inevitable, really.

so the corporate IT monkeys have now blocked all access to blogger ... doh !

Thursday, 16 August 2007

Tomb Raider - pt 3

welcome back, gentle reader.

as usual, straight to it.

the remainder of my results thru the holiday period. Just to keep things in perspective, I will be doing a bankroll check very soon to see if I actually am in profit. these cashes look so good on the face of it ... but how much did I spend to achieve these nice congratulatory emails ?

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in the tournament "Head Hunter £10 5278565", on Aug 6 2007 2:09AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 1st and won 138.00 GBP standard prize
and collected 74.36 GBP in Heads !
another early wake ip call for the whole house ...
You have earned 121 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in the tournament "HeadHunter $5K GTD 5313101", on Aug 12 2007 12:21AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 15th and won 25.00 USD!
how the hell do you go so deep and not collect a single head ...
You have earned 24 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in the tournament "Headhunter $3000 GTD 5278222", on Aug 12 2007 12:27AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 14th and won 17.80 USD!
... same thing again !!
You have earned 17 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in the tournament "Head Hunter £5 5313710", on Aug 12 2007 2:48AM GMT. Congratulations! You placed 31st and won 1.87 GBP in Heads !
... some nights you should just go home early ...
You have earned 1 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

so there ya go, all done.

So back home and back to the grind, I suppose. My available hours to play poker are now severely restricted. There is no way I can play mtt's into the small hours and still get up for work !
i will leave that kinda thing to the younger generation.

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

Tomb Raider - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

lets cut straight to the chase, posts with this title have a bad habit of dragging on ...

btw da gambler commented that i was a "big fish" ... lmfao ! ...make sure to tell all yer friends !! ( snigger snigger )

onwards we go. so played a shed load of poker "on holiday" with the headhunter series catching my imagination ... dread to think how much i have spent but i do have a few decent results ... lol if da gambler thought i was a big fish with my RAZZ result just wait 'till he cops a load of this ...

...... btw the RAZZ tourney had been going over 4 1/2 hours ... it was way past my bedtime ... kidz would be up in a few hours ffs ! so i quite literally gave my chips away ... the remaining 4 guys at the table probably could not believe their luck ... and might just have me marked as a fcuking big fish ... next time, oh yes there will be a next time ... i will pick a more suitable start time ......

lets get to it .... almost ... juice ! i don't write emails to myself before u comment ... snigger snigger ...

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in tournament "Head Hunter $2K GTD 5223025", on Jul 28 2007 1:05AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 78th and won 5.09 USD in Heads !
lol 2k guaranteed, i win 5 bucks
You have earned 1 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in tournament "Head Hunter £5 5266228", on Aug 4 2007.
Congratulations! You placed 115th and won 2.12 GBP in Heads !
ffs 5 quid buy-in, i win 2 quid !!

You have earned 1 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in the tournament "Head Hunter £10 5266305", on Aug 4 2007 2:07AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 2nd and won 144.00 GBP standard prize and collected 76.40 GBP in Heads !
think i woke the whole damn house up !! only realised next night how much head money i collected :))
well the total is over $400 ...
You have earned 145 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in tournament "Thunder $2 Tourney 5272439", on Aug 5 2007 1:49AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 4th and won 14.60 USD!
thunder are the turbo tourneys ...
You have earned 30 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Thank you for participating in tournament "HeadHunter $2.5K GTD 5272369", on Aug 5 2007 2:08AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 28th and won 11.27 USD standard prize and collected 15.57 USD in Heads !
damn 2.5k guaranteed, i win 26 bucks ...
You have earned 19 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

Dear dd,
Account Number: 03059768 Thank you for participating in the tournament "Head Hunter £5 5272688", on Aug 5 2007 4:02AM GMT.
Congratulations! You placed 42nd and won 2.22 GBP in Heads !
one to many games that night !!
You have earned 1 MTPs towards the tournament leaderboard.

thats enough ( bragging ) for one night :) ...... more to come ......

Eunectes Murinus - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

sorry, couldn't resist. but beware !! took 4 1/2 hrs to get there ............

PokerStars Tournament #57350296, Limit Razz
Buy-In: $10.00/$1.00
112 players
Total Prize Pool: $1120.00
Tournament started - 2007/08/11 - 19:45:00 (ET)

Dear ResdentEvil,

You finished the tournament in 5th place.
A $72.80 award has been credited to your Real Money account.

you earned 95.16 tournament leader points in this tournament.

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

rTr league and cup - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

right lets get this show on the road.

First off, the rTr HU QF 1 ... and thanks to YP for sitting out for 15 mins waiting for me. My pc refused to boot up and sat on the bios screen looking for me to hit F1 or F2 ... no luck there, as it refused point blank to accept anything typed on my usual wireless keyboard ... queue much swearing and a trip into the attic looking for an old wired keyboard ... remember children, always take a torch into the attic ... finally found a torch and an old keyboard ... bingo ! off to 'stars we go and the noble YP is sitting out ... nice one mate !

short story shorter ... I won

oh ok, just a quick resume ...
JJ v 99 ... yp raised to 120 pre-flop and i call
i bet out 120 on a scary QAT board ... yp folds ... nice laydown

we both limp to see a K22 flop and both check to see another 2 on the turn
yp calls my turn and river bet
and takes a nice 500 pot with his damned ace kicker

he now leads t1045 to t1955 ... not looking good

and it got worse ... t895 v t2105

then we both limp to see a 5 8 3 flop
yp bets 100 i raise to 300 yp calls
the turn is a K ... yp pushes for 550 ... i only got t545 left

if i lay it down i'm outchipped 5:1 ... sorry, gotta call

yikes the river is another 3 ...

Yorksh1rePud: shows [Ad 5d] (two pair, Fives and Threes)
ResdentEvil: shows [8h 7s] (two pair, Eights and Threes)
Yorksh1rePud said, "good call"
ResdentEvil collected 1790 from pot

whew ... bak in the lead t1790 v t1210

i then proceeded to call a pre-flop raise with the mighty K9o ...... wtf ???
Qc4c2d on the flop and YP pushes for his remaining 860 ... oops
and i lay it down

back to square 1 almost my t1540 v t1460

i chip up a little t1640 v t1360 and then this

i min raise to 100 and YP calls ...
*** FLOP *** [3h Kc 5h]
Yorksh1rePud: bets 145
ResdentEvil: raises 205 to 350
Yorksh1rePud: raises 450 to 800
ResdentEvil: raises 450 to 1250
Yorksh1rePud said, "****ing jock"
Yorksh1rePud said, "you show?"
Yorksh1rePud: folds

ResdentEvil: shows [Ts Ks] (a pair of Kings) collected (1800) ... he he he

now my t2540 v 460

i got cocky and stupidly called yp's push on the river and he showed a fcuking boat !!
well played yp !!
my t2180 v t820

a couple of hands later its t2330 v t670 with blinds 50/100

Yorksh1rePud: raises 200 to 300
ResdentEvil: raises 300 to 600
Yorksh1rePud said, "gl"
Yorksh1rePud: raises 70 to 670 and is all-in
ResdentEvil said, "gl"
ResdentEvil: calls 70

*** FLOP *** [5c 4c Th]
***TURN *** [5c 4c Th] [6h]
*** RIVER *** [5c 4c Th 6h] [Ks]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
ResdentEvil: shows [Jh Jc] (a pair of Jacks)
Yorksh1rePud: shows [9d Td] (a pair of Tens)

gg YP and well played.

actual playing time was approx 20 mins and a bit weird, from my point of view, playing HU, since I dont even like short handed games ... I have no idea why, I just prefer full ring games.

good luck to the remaining quarter finalists. wonder who i'll get in the semi ?

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Tomb Raider - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

I have been trying to get this post done for days ! Its sat afternoon, the kids are quiet, so i thought i'd get it done now ... no chance ... just been informed we are off to a friends for dinner ... a mans life is rarely his own.

so this post will get finished ... eventually.

I have been on "holiday" for the best part of four weeks. Allow me to elaborate. Our hols consist of going to englandshire to visit the inlaws. No probs, I get on really well with 'em and to be honest the thought of going abroad with the brood does not appeal to me at all. More stressful than relaxfull methinks !
So i take them all to the inlaws, have a long weekend with them and come home myself for two weeks at work ! before returning to englandshire for a week and a half myself :)
I have to say the two weeks on my own are a bit hazy as far as poker and results go ...

damn, to be continued

headhunter results and virgin mtt result