Wednesday, 26 December 2007


welcome back, gentle reader

oh my gawd, i feel awful !

on two counts .... i feel bad for ranting like that ... and i have a hangover :((

oh well, sometimes its good to let off a little steam !

btw thanks for comments from mair, donkey, exile and acorn :)

the day started well yesterday. went to my local for a pint with my mate and then back to his for Christmas dinner, which was superb ! always good when someone else does the cooking and he wouldn't even let me help with the dishes ! double result !
a few beers after dinner and i pretty much roll home. get the old dvd recorder fired up ... recording all of "Heroes" on the Sci-Fi channel. the whole of season 1 :)

fire the pc up for some poker. luckily for me and my bankroll i did not do anything to stupid. hell, i even manged to win one ... sorry, make that a 2nd place :) lol, how the hell i managed to "play" for 4 hours is beyond me, and my neighbour must have wondered what all the shouting was about when i eventually got HU.

Full Tilt Poker Tournament #34981698 $5 + $0.50 Tournament Fixed Omaha H/L
Buy-In: $5.00 + $0.50
130 players
Total Prize Pool: $650.00
Start Date: December 25 5:15 PM ET

Dear dD,
You finished the tournament in 2nd place.
There has been $110.50 added to your account.
You have earned leaderboard points for this tournament.
To view your current leaderboard points use the link in the Cashier window.

Thank you for participating.

right, i am off out for some much required fresh air


welcome back, gentle reader

sorry, can't explain ............ she is fking back

go girl go

sad but true, i fcuking miss you.

Monday, 24 December 2007

Scots Pwnage Oats

welcome back, gentle reader

well last night was britBloggerment 40. and you have to admit, we so owned it !

congrats to winner Al Eleven (theMiamiTrout aka SanJoseSalmon)

and big shout to second place ResdentEvil ( aka me :)

and well done third place Teaulc (aka theAmerican stopping the clean sweep ! )

and the bubble boy zagga (aka back from the dead with only t1140 ! )

fantastic tournament and some of the patter ... just beltin !!

and with this type of play, how could the result be in any doubt ??

*** SHOW DOWN ***
biakkax: shows [8s 3c] (a pair of Eights)
ResdentEvil: shows [Qs Th] (two pair, Queens and Tens)
ResdentEvil collected 840 from pot

and only one queen there Scott :))

*** RIVER *** [3d Qh Jh Kc] [7c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
simonjjj: shows [9h 6h] (high card King)
ResdentEvil: shows [7s Qs] (two pair, Queens and Sevens)
ResdentEvil collected 4250 from pot
simonjjj said, "doh"

*** RIVER *** [Td 6s 8c Ks] [3s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
TanOrpheus: shows [7d 5d] (high card King)
ResdentEvil: shows [Ts Jd] (a pair of Tens)
ResdentEvil collected 4820 from pot

*** RIVER *** [7c 4h 5c As] [8d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
biakkax: shows [2h 7d] (a pair of Sevens)
ResdentEvil: shows [8h 6s] (a straight, Four to Eight)
ResdentEvil collected 9281 from pot

i mean, the writing is on the wall when my aces are good, never been known on 'stars

*** RIVER *** [2s 6h 6s Jh] [7c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
teaulc: shows [Ts Td] (two pair, Tens and Sixes) zagga: shows [Qs Ad] (a pair of Sixes)
ResdentEvil: shows [Ac Ah] (two pair, Aces and Sixes)
ResdentEvil collected 8596 from main pot

but the eventual winner was on fire !!

Al Eleven: shows [5h 5c] (two pair, Sevens and Fives)
Matty H UK: shows [Ad 6s] (a pair of Sevens)
Al Eleven collected 2536 from pot

biakkax: shows [2s Ts] (two pair, Eights and Deuces)
Al Eleven: shows [7s 9s] (two pair, Eights and Sevens)
Al Eleven collected 8250 from pot

Al Eleven: shows [9h 7h] (a pair of Sevens)
the_cloud71: shows [Ad Ts] (high card Ace)
Al Eleven collected 5105 from pot

and he was the only man on the night who got the money in behind, against me that is, and hit his draw !!
if i had won this one then it would have been goodnite Al. then again, a fair few people went against me when they were drawing and every single one missed ! except this one, bah !!

*** RIVER *** [As 9c 8s 7c] [Ks]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Al Eleven: shows [Jc Ts] (a straight, Seven to Jack)
ResdentEvil: shows [9s Ad] (two pair, Aces and Nines)
Al Eleven collected 17212 from pot

Al Eleven: shows [Qs As] (two pair, Queens and Nines)
teaulc: shows [7h 7d] (two pair, Nines and Sevens)
ResdentEvil said, "gg"
Al Eleven said, "gg"
Al Eleven collected 11311 from pot

i did manage to pull Al's huge huge lead back to just a 2k difference, but all to no avail ...

*** SHOW DOWN ***
ResdentEvil: shows [5s 6h] (two pair, Eights and Sixes)
Al Eleven: shows [8c As] (a full house, Eights full of Aces)
ResdentEvil said, "ouch"
Al Eleven collected 20632 from pot

as Al pointed oot early doors, this was the last britBloggerment of 2007 ... and I bet some people in certain quarters will be glad to see the back of it ... he he he

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

The Last Samurai

welcome back, gentle reader.

well this is supposed to be a short post ... when do i make anything short seeing as i so like the sound of my own voice :)
doing the usual housework on this humble blog and that means updating links.

anyone spot an error, please let me know.

been playing poker as per usual. some nice little scores and as per usual go and blow it in bigger buy-in tournaments. actually quite surprised i have any roll left at all tbh. considering the type of year i am having.
finished off a few of my little colt45 challenges - some with profit some not and one, on the face of it, fairly ludicrous challenge. i'll bore y'all to death with the full results in later posts.

i think i'll wind this here humble blog down ... poker wise ... and see if they'll have me over on ukpokerscene.

i'll keep this blog here for life in general, such as it will be. hmmmm life ... whats it all about eh ?
oh Rosie, you'd be proud. sorted my shit out. not the result i was looking for, more the bookies favouite really. painful, but sorted. no doubt as time passes, i will update my situation. certainly more for me and my sanity !!

bah ! when i started this post i knew where i wanted it to go and now ??

lets finish up.

in the coming weeks, over the "festive" period, if you come across me, please don't be offended if one or other of the following occurs.

I completely ignore all chat.
I completely trash talk the table.

one of two things will be going on.

i will be so wrapped up in my inner turmoil hence silence.
i will be freeway spanking drunk hence the trash talk.

both scenarios are likely to happen as i come to terms with my demons.

so, to those who are having it ... Merry Christmas !

to those miserable cunts (me) who are not having it ... ho fucking ho.

Monday, 10 December 2007

Live at the Glasgow Apollo - pt 3

welcome back, gentle reader.

and welcome to monday, where did the weekend go ?

actually had a good one and it goes something like this.

Friday night, teamed up with a few of the regular rTr friday night crew. we donked about in a few games, ok, i donked and they played :)
all good clean fun, the highlight had to be matty taking down a $10 45-man. nice one and very well played mate.
after that i took my weeks winnings on FT and entered a $55 H.O.R.S.E. ... seemed such a good idea at the time ... only to get to the bubble, me and two other shortstacks, who were just trying to fold into the money. unfortunately the blind increase went against me and i was forced to push against the bigstack in the damned hold'em round and he flipped over a big pair ... gg me :(

Saturday night was the live game.

and we had no less than 3 visitors from down south who had flown up just for this game !

first off, huge thanks to theBigChap for hosting the game.

big thanks to the S-man and theCousin our two dedicated drivers.

and thanks to acorn for arranging the game.

now i almost did not make the game. had a little accident with a saw, thinking at the time i'd almost chopped ... sawed ... my fucking fingertip off ! looking at the damage now, i have a nice little perfect horseshoe gash on my middle finger. don't look much, but fawk me did it bleed !! took so long to stop i thought i was off to A&E ...

the guests. finally got to meet JUICE ... theEDGE ... and ROSIE.
always fun to meet people when you have only ever read them ! funnily enough, they were nothing like i imagined. Juice wasn't to much of a surprise as i'd seen his pic on his blog. theEdge & Rosie were nothing like i'd imagined. all in a good way of course :)
very nice to meet u all and hope you enjoyed yourself as much as i did.
we headed off to theBigChaps and after an hour finally arrived. had ourselves a little £5 turbo tourney, no cash for me in that one. Acorn & Juice and theEdge took the honours.
then we moved onto a wee cash game, small stakes keep it friendly. made a small profit of £2.50 in that, so not a complete financial disaster :)
we had an early finish and had to leave at around 1am. with 6 of us heading back to acorns for the boxing ... on tv and not live, i hasten to add.
after the boxing i could not get a taxi, bugger, in the doghouse again !! well it was around 6am ho hum.

hope you guys all enjoyed the night as much as i did, looking forward to the next one already.

sunday night was britblogger ... and the dTd wildcard game.

played well in both games, getting bumped off in the britblogger after reaching the final table, out in 5th or 6th ??
the dTd game was a belter.

10 starters. one by one they all dropped. then there were 3.

me :) and two high rollers ... amatay ! and kenn !
yikes, could not get much tougher and i expected to be bounced in 3rd. hung in there though, determined to give a good account of myself and not get caught making a donk move. amatay finally nailed kenn with his flopped flush holding up against kenn's flopped set !

heads up little-fish-me against big-fish-amatay

we went head-to-head with amatay the big stack. once again i was determined not to donk out.
the blinds were starting to hurt and i did double thru once or twice, but could only get the chip lead cut to 2-1.
thought i played very well and gave a good account of myself in general.

he said " I also had a loooong head ups battle with Double D, gg m8, wp. " ... :))

mair said " the HU match between dD and Amatay was superb, was great to watch. "

and turned out quite a long, long, hard fought battle ...

then i picked up 33 ... i pushed ... he called ... with 55

presto held up, and amatay wins.

gg mrJones, very well played sir.

not to disappointed :( but it would have been nice to nail such a big scalp :)

Friday, 7 December 2007


welcome back, gentle reader.

lmfao !! posted the wrong fuckin hh ... ha ha ha !

[ to damned lazy to start again, so the ace hand follows this :( ] [ blushing big time now ]

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to ResdentEvil [4d 3s 5c Tc] ... speculate to accumulate ... hohum

ResdentEvil: calls $0.25coffeedawgs: calls $0.25nbitner: calls $0.25MKandERK: calls $0.15Ripler: checks

*** FLOP *** [Qs 5h 6c] ... hmm got outs, arse end of the str8 tho'

MKandERK: checks Ripler: checks ResdentEvil: bets $0.25coffeedawgs: calls $0.25nbitner: calls $0.25MKandERK: folds Ripler: calls $0.25 ... lol ... they all call, of course

*** TURN *** [Qs 5h 6c] [Ts]

Ripler: checks
ResdentEvil: bets $0.50 ... fawk, this is getting ugly
coffeedawgs: folds
nbitner: folds
Ripler: calls $0.50 ... yeesh, there is always one ffs

*** RIVER *** [Qs 5h 6c Ts] [9d]

Ripler: checks
ResdentEvil: checks ... not giving him a chance to re-raise

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Ripler: shows [As 6s Kc 2s] (HI: a pair of Sixes) ....... wtf ?? how can you call ??

ResdentEvil: shows [4d 3s 5c Tc] (HI: two pair, Tens and Fives)
ResdentEvil collected $3.10 from pot ... unbelievable *)
No low hand qualified

[ ahem, cough cough, here's the original post ] [ more blushing ]

why the fuck can I not get my aces to hold up when playing nlhe ??
yet they hold up here, when they really shouldn't ...

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to ResdentEvil [Ac As 2s 7c]
ResdentEvil: raises $0.25 to $0.50 ... wheeee lets get some money in that there pot
bruno papoom: folds nbitner: folds JayNT: folds bucna: folds winbet: folds
alpro1: calls $0.50
bruno papoom leaves the table ... wtf ?? was it something i said ...

*** FLOP ***
[5c Jd Ks] ... fucking typical ... bollox

ResdentEvil: bets $0.25 ... can you fold ??
alpro1: calls $0.25 ... i see he really respects my play, not.

*** TURN ***
[5c Jd Ks] [5h]

ResdentEvil: bets $0.50 ....... whee pair on board, you can fold now ...
alpro1: calls $0.50 ....... or not

*** RIVER ***
[5c Jd Ks 5h] [4d]

ResdentEvil: bets $0.50 ... cant back down now
ffsalpro1: calls $0.50 ... motherfukker !! cmon show me a 5 you cunt .......

*** SHOW DOWN ***
ResdentEvil: shows [Ac As 2s 7c] (HI: two pair, Aces and Fives)
alpro1: mucks hand
ResdentEvil collected $3.70 from pot ....... lmfao, but wtf ??
No low hand qualified
Seat 1: alpro1 mucked [Kc Ah 3h 9h] ....... ha ha ha ! you are worse than me ffs *)

hi-fucking-low and a pair wins thru ?? just what the fuck is going on ??

Thursday, 6 December 2007

Full Metal Jacket - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader.

you gotta love no-limit poker ... even when it is O8 ...

*** HOLE CARDS ***
[Jc Qh Ks Tc]

dD raises to $0.20
bobranes raises to $0.50
CRAZYLAR calls $0.50
dD calls $0.30 ...... if they have good hands and the flop is high ... :)

*** FLOP *** [Js 4d Ah]

dD checks ....... nice flop, lets see what the villains think
bobranes bets $1.20
CRAZYLAR calls $1.20
dD calls $1.20 ....... flat call, just in case its brick brick

*** TURN *** [Js 4d Ah] [Ts]

dD checks ....... gotta check, for deception
bobranes bets $3.40
CRAZYLAR calls $3.40
dD raises to $8.50, and is all in ...... lets see what you guys really think
bobranes calls $5.10
CRAZYLAR calls $4.80, and is all in ....... ffs, surely not ... three straights ???

bobranes shows [Ac 5d Ad Kd] ....... my my, trips ... no flush draw tho'
CRAZYLAR shows [3d As Qd 5c] ....... sweet, only the low draw and a gutshot

*** RIVER *** [Js 4d Ah Ts] [Kh] ....... i swore a little, ok, a lot, fk fk fk

dD shows a straight, Ace high, for high
bobranes shows three of a kind, Aces, for high
CRAZYLAR shows a straight, Ace high, for high

dD ties for the main pot ($13.95)
CRAZYLAR ties for the main pot ($13.90)

damned river, and it was not even on 'stars

Suburban Relapse - SS and the B's - Polydor, 1978

welcome back, gentle reader.

just in case you think i am getting ideas above my station.

I can play piss-poor-poker-with-my-eyes-wide-open ...

Board [7d As Ad 6s 3h]
ResdentEvil: shows [6c 7c 2d 7s] ....... aw come on, its the hammer
(HI: a full house, Sevens full of Aces; LO: 7,6,3,2,A) ...... and look where that got me
bsinger_1: shows [5s Ts 4s 6h]
(HI: a straight, Three to Seven; LO: 6,5,4,3,A) ....... nice low
luckyharry2: shows [Ah 5c 3s Ks]
(HI: a full house, Aces full of Threes; LO: 7,6,5,3,A) ....... oops ! my thats a big one ...
luckyharry2 collected $5.75 from pot
bsinger_1 collected $5.75 from pot

Board [3c Qh 5c Qd 9h]
cookthecook: checks ResdentEvil: bets $1 ....... fold please ... ah, you call ...
bsinger_1: folds
TiburonSE: folds
cookthecook: calls $1
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ResdentEvil: shows [Ad 7s Kd 2s] (HI: a pair of Queens)
cookthecook: shows [8d Jc Jd Ac] (HI: two pair, Queens and Jacks)
cookthecook collected $10 from pot

Board [8c 2s 9s Qd 5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
FrJackHacket: shows [3d 9d Ac Jd] (HI: a pair of Nines; LO: 8,5,3,2,A)
ResdentEvil: shows [3c 9c Qh 4c]
(HI: two pair, Queens and Nines; LO: 8,5,4,3,2) ....... if you choose to play trash
bsinger_1: shows [7c As 3h 8s] (HI: a pair of Eights; LO: 8,5,3,2,A)
ResdentEvil collected $8 from pot ....... wow ! in fact double wow !!
bsinger_1 collected $4 from pot
FrJackHacket collected $4 from pot

Board [4d Qd 8d 8c Ac]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
luckyharry2: shows [Ad 2d Qs 8h] (HI: a full house, Eights full of Aces)
luckyharry2 collected $12 from pot
Seat 1: ResdentEvil (small blind) mucked [Td 9d 4h 2c] ....... yes, i mucked out of sheer embarassment

see ? see ? easy as falling off a fucking bike ... again

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

you take the hi road - pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader.

another wee omaha lesson.

returned (again) to my beloved plo8 cash. guess what ? my friend was at the table and he was up to his usual party tricks, thats right, playing every-gawd-damned-fucking-hand ... this time he was not so lucky.
just for the record, i cannot be arsed to change names to protect the guilty :)

i have to admit to a certain admiration for the guys name tho - PoisonedLuck - sheer class mate :))

he was at the table with $30 when i joined ... as usual, here a few hands.

certainly not the same trash he was playing and hitting the other night. his trouble seemed to be even when a good hand hit, he seemed to be getting quartered all the time. not good for your balance that one.

50mins later he left with $1.64 ...

if all you are chasing is a flush, make sure its the nutz.
PoisonedLuck shows [ 5h, Ks, 5d, 3s ]a flush, King high.
Catfish03 shows [ Kc, As, Kd, 2s ]a flush, Ace high.
Catfish03 wins $15.45 USD from the main pot with a flush, Ace high.
There was no qualifying low hand

omfg, crappy flushes and they quarter the low, ouch !
rmtclarke shows [ 9h, 2s, 3d, Td ]a flush, Ten high.
rmtclarke shows7,6,5,3,2 for low.
PoisonedLuck shows [ 5s, Kc, 2d, 8d ]a flush, Eight high.
PoisonedLuck shows7,6,5,3,2 for low.
rmtclarke wins $6.65 USD from the main pot with a flush, Ten high.
rmtclarke wins Lo ($3.33 USD) from the main pot with 7,6,5,3,2.
PoisonedLuck wins Lo ($3.32 USD) from the main pot with 7,6,5,3,2.

two pair on a paired board ?? and notice the quartered low ... again.
PoisonedLuck shows [ 3s, Ks, 4s, 3h ]two pairs, Threes and Twos.
PoisonedLuck shows7,4,3,2,A for low.
faceoff888 wins $9.03 USD from the main pot with two pairs, Sevens and Twos.
faceoff888 wins Lo ($4.51 USD) from the main pot with 7,4,3,2,A.
PoisonedLuck wins Lo ($4.51 USD) from the main pot with 7,4,3,2,A.

no high and only the second rate low.
ffs with 5 players in a hand, you gotta hit the nutz :)
rmtclarke shows [ Kh, 8s, 9s, Jh ]a flush, King high.
PoisonedLuck shows [ 4s, 7d, Ad, 3h ]a pair of Sevens.
PoisonedLuck shows8,7,6,3,A for low.
doom_bfg shows [ 3c, 6h, Ah, 2s ]a pair of Sixes.
doom_bfg shows8,7,6,2,A for low.
telmay shows [ Kd, As, 5c, 9d ]a straight Five to Nine.
telmay shows8,7,6,5,A for low.
telmay wins $1.57 USD from side pot #1 with a straight, Five to Nine.
GoalieHb wins $1.56 USD from side pot #1 with a straight, Five to Nine.
doom_bfg wins Lo ($3.12 USD) from side pot #1 with 8,7,6,2,A.
rmtclarke wins $5.67 USD from the main pot with a flush, King high.
doom_bfg wins Lo ($5.66 USD) from the main pot with 8,7,6,2,A.

two pair not good enough and he gets quartered, again !! for the lo
faceoff888 shows [ 4c, 9s, 2h, 7c ]a pair of Sixes.
faceoff888 shows8,6,4,2,A for low.
PoisonedLuck shows [ 4d, Ac, 9d, 2d ]two pairs, Aces and Sixes.
PoisonedLuck shows8,6,4,2,A for low.
DutchBelle shows [ 3s, 4h, Ah, Qs ]two pairs, Aces and Queens.
DutchBelle shows8,6,4,3,A for low.
DutchBelle wins $2.63 USD from the main pot with two pairs, Aces and Queens.
faceoff888 wins Lo ($1.31 USD) from the main pot with 8,6,4,2,A.
PoisonedLuck wins Lo ($1.31 USD) from the main pot with 8,6,4,2,A.

no high so he can only win half the pot ... quartered yet again !!!!
telmay shows [ Th, 4c, As, 2d ]a pair of Fours.
telmay shows7,6,4,2,A for low.
rmtclarke shows [ 4d, 7h, 2h, Kc ]two pairs, Kings and Sevens.
rmtclarke shows8,7,6,4,2 for low.
PoisonedLuck shows [ Ah, 3h, 2c, 9d ]high card Ace.
PoisonedLuck shows7,6,4,2,A for low.
rmtclarke wins $5 USD from the main pot with two pairs, Kings and Sevens.
telmay wins Lo ($2.50 USD) from the main pot with 7,6,4,2,A.
PoisonedLuck wins Lo ($2.50 USD) from the main pot with 7,6,4,2,A.

it seems players at these micro limits will bet the nut low till there mouse finger falls off ... and what they have for a high, seems almost irrelevant.

and my session ?

i lost the princely sum of 94c

... hell of a lot better than the buy-in the first night

Something for the Weekend, Sir ?

welcome back, gentle reader.

well its nice to see acorn enjoyed his night out. he got in touch on his return home and "persuaded" me to join him for some pished poker. damn, had his message appeared 10 minutes later i'd have been in bed. :)
played two wee turbo's and did not get in the money in either, my my what a surprise.
ran my KJ into AA and gg me
ran my set of 6's into runner-runner flush ho-hum

then it was onto Kattitude's re-buy donkament ... great fun but way to late. donking along really well in that one, then the clock caught my eye ... fawk me, nearly 4am, and as soon as i saw that it was time to push with the first available hand that came along and would not make me look a complete donk in front of all those well known North American bloggers :)
so AQ duly showed up and i pushed ... straight into AA ... never been so glad, since i was, literally, falling asleep at the keyboard !!

the other hilight of the weekend was of course, britblogger on sunday night. and very nearly a nice highlite until i ran my AK into fucking ... oh sorry that was last week ... now i've mentioned it ...

last week i shoved with AK and got called by ... gawd damn fucking KQ (cogs u donkey !!) ... boom ! rivered, out i go.

this week i shoved with AK ... called by 66 ... bad call in my opinion, what does he think i have ??

anyways, gg me, out in sixth, meh.

which reminds me.
i believe the mighty Surflexus did the walk of shame ?

stop by his place and "remind" him its tradition to give the monkey a home !!