Thursday, 19 February 2009

f.m.w.a.p.s. - pt 1 & pt 2

welcome back, gentle reader

after you've read this. i'm sure you'll say heard it, seen it, been there, got the t-shirt, video .... and the sore ar$e :)

pl08b micro stakes last night. limped into a multiway pot and flopped the nut flush and second nut low .... w00t .... an early position donk bets small and i pot it .... leaving him 8c to re-raise me with, which he duly does ....
at this point two things happen .... another window pops to the front AND my two year old decides its time for a swan dive off the sofa arm onto daddy .... apart from a near fucking heart attack i extricate enough of the wee one so i can see the screen, fold the current game window and click on the game where mrDonk has re-raised me .... remember, 8c re-raise .... one fucking microsecond before my finger hits the mouse button .... the game i am trying to reach pops to the front .... and i hit the gawd damn fucking fold button .... sigh .... bye bye buy-in

thats when i uttered the immortal words .... f.m.w.a.p.s

in phonetics as my wee one is at the serious parrot stage. and then there was a knock at the door .... a smartly dressed young american man bearing a pokerstars id stood there .... with his designer pointy stick .... "aw naw, nae loob" I muttered ....

not long after, with the wee one crashed flat out on the sofa, i returned to the virual felt. with the usual array of tables open i flat call a raise from the blinds .... the raiser is a solid regular and i love to catch these guys out, oh and raising from the blinds seems to happen all to often for my liking, so i flat call in early position with a s00ted A2xx .... four of us see the flop come down all low and two of my suit :) as expected, the raiser pots it and I flat call not wanting to scare off the two behind me and they duly flat call. the turn is another low giving me the nut low and , i guess, the solid regular raiser from the blinds the nut low as well .... again she pots and we all flat call. the river is a diamond, yes my diamond, my nut flush. she pots it and is all in .... another game window pops to the front and i quickly fold my hand .... except it was not another window that popped to the front, for some strange unknown reason i just thought it had, i just folded the nut nut hand .... sigh .... bye bye 3 buy-ins

thats when i uttered the immortal words .... f.m.w.a.p.s .... no phonetics

knock knock went the door, same young man with pokerstars id, same designer pointy stick, "aw naw, nae loob" I muttered .... again

apparently I will walk "properly" within a week, sitting down may take a wee bit longer.

scariest thought of all .... surely not the exact same pointy stick he visited littleAcornMan with the other week ? that is a truly disturbing vision ....

Saturday, 7 February 2009

He holds him with his glittering eye - pt 1

welcome back, gentle reader

two nights ago I "cruised" through the $200 landmark, finishing the night with $205.67 safely locked into my stars account. no big deal, except I had not realised how much it actually meant to me !
Four or five nights ago I got my balance up to 197, thinking I would easily crush that pesky 200 barrier, only a single buy-in at 1c/2c .... and the bubble burst, all the fucking way down to 180 (and not a dart in fucking sight) meh. lmfao b00m headsot indeed.

my doomswitch got well and truly flicked. or else it may have been ....

a series of bad beats .... read playing a lot of crap starting hands .... aka my fault
getting mightily rivered .... read going to showdown with way less than the nuts .... aka my fault
pre-flop raises getting called left, right and centre .... read unable to fold pre-flop monsters on a train wreck flop with 4+ donks in the hand .... aka my fault

anyway, i was about to say, you may or indeed may not remember, I have been grinding away at the pl08b microstakes for roughly the past 3 months. well, seriously grinding, bearing in mind i am a self confessed recreational player, so multi-tabling the old hi-lo 4 card bingo was a little daunting :)
but stars, god love 'em, have 1c/2c for starters, so where else could i go :)

the other reason for using stars is simply the software .... streets ahead of the competition for this simple reason. The table requiring action pops to the front ....

and it stays at the front until you make a choice.

All the other sites, bar none, bring the action window to the front, but, big but actually, they do not keep it at the front until you make your choice. As soon as another table requires a descision, it pops to the front, irrespective of whether you have made a descision on the previous table or not !

well thats the way they work on my systems, one running xp and the lappy running vista.

so back to the grinding. when i started this it was due to my fondness of pl08b and the fact i was sick to death of nlhe, i had more or less $100 on stars. it may only have been $50 but we'll give it the benefit of doubt.
so two nights ago i broke the $200 landmark, thanks to a third place in a limit 08b tourney and also to a nice wee hand which we will get to shortly. it was only a wee tourney, but hey, third is third, especially since most of the peeps are nlhe donkeys :) and you know how difficult it is to play against punters who basically have no clue :)

Dear ResdentEvil,
You finished the tournament in 3rd place. A $15.00 award .... :)

oh and that hand.
well one guy seemed to know what he was doing, but the guy doing the raising when the board paired, well .... as they say, you decide.

PokerStars Game #24666832808: Omaha Hi/Lo Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2009/02/06 18:56:56 ET
Table 'Bellona VIII' 10-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: tccrasher ($19.40 in chips)
Seat 3: adogzilla ($9.50 in chips)
Seat 4: jay_jaywalk ($10.85 in chips)
Seat 5: masher_05 ($8.25 in chips)
Seat 6: stapler19 ($14.65 in chips)
Seat 7: Bocman ($10.50 in chips)
Seat 8: poo500 ($5 in chips)
Seat 9: ResdentEvil ($10.05 in chips)
Seat 10: tharjus ($1.45 in chips)
Bocman: posts small blind $0.10 poo500: posts big blind $0.25

*** HOLE CARDS *** Dealt to ResdentEvil [Ac 9d Ah 3d]

ResdentEvil: calls $0.25 masher_05: raises $0.25 to $0.50 Bocman: calls $0.40 ResdentEvil: calls $0.25

*** FLOP *** [6h As Kc]

Bocman: checks ResdentEvil: checks masher_05: bets $0.25 Bocman: calls $0.25 ResdentEvil: raises $0.25 to $0.50masher_05: calls $0.25 Bocman: calls $0.25

*** TURN *** [6h As Kc] [6s]

Bocman: checks ResdentEvil: bets $0.50 masher_05: calls $0.50 Bocman: raises $0.50 to $1
ResdentEvil: raises $0.50 to $1.50 masher_05: raises $0.50 to $2
Betting is capped
Bocman: calls $1 ResdentEvil: calls $0.50

*** RIVER *** [6h As Kc 6s] [Tc]

Bocman: checks ResdentEvil: bets $0.50 masher_05: raises $0.50 to $1 Bocman: calls $1 ResdentEvil: calls $0.50

*** SHOW DOWN ***

masher_05: shows [4c Td Ts 3c] (HI: a full house, Tens full of Sixes)
Bocman: mucks hand mucked [Ad 4s 6d 5s]
ResdentEvil: shows [Ac 9d Ah 3d] (HI: a full house, Aces full of Sixes)
ResdentEvil collected $11.85 from pot
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $12.25 Rake $0.40

It may only be "limit" but fuck me, almost doubling your buy-in in a single hand ....

so that was the 200 well and truly crushed :) by a whopping 5 bucks .... but last night i wanted to play in a $5 tourney .... which dropped me right on 200 .... oh oh ....
but, thankfully i blagged first in the wee mtt

PokerStars Tournament #139154084, HORSE
Buy-In: $5.00/$0.50
Total Prize Pool: $70.00
Dear ResdentEvil,
You finished the tournament in 1st place. A $35.00 award .... :)

and, I say, and, I picked up a few more schekkels at the cash tables. So thats 200 out of the way, right ? sitting at 237 so as long as I dont go playing to many tourneys ....

thinking about it my balance should have been higher by $6 or so. I had a great table at 2c/5c managing to double my buy-in .... but I donked, and I mean donked, off two buy-ins at 1c/2c .... sigh .... honestly, what a fucking donk I am sometimes.

and finally ....

pt omaha stats :)

1c/2c 9604 hands +$59.64 (pl08b)
2c/5c 3732 hands +$26.19 (pl08b)
5c/10c 190 hands -$2.81 (limit 08b)
10c/20c 383 hands +$3.75 (limit 08b)
10c/25c 23 hands +$0.25 (no limit 08b)
10c/25c 764 hands +$10.65 (pl08b)
25c/50c 513 hands +$36.35 (limit 08b)

the above stats are all from sessions played on my laptop and very pleasant reading they make. The following stats are from the pc and although they show an overall profit, there are some train wreck stats in there too.

1c/2c 6893 hands +$31.25 (pl08b)
2c/5c 3292 hands +$65.17 (pl08b)
5c/10c 643 hands -$0.19 (limit 08b)
10c/20c 932 hands +$0.07 (limit 08b)
10c/25c 353 hands -$1.65 (no limit 08b)
10c/25c 403 hands -$22.10 (pl08b)
25c/50c 157 hands -$3.65 (limit 08b)

25c/50c 75 hands -$19.65 (no limit 08b)
25c/50c 47 hands +$5.10 (pl08b)

lmfao, not at the time obviously, but how many fucking beers did I have during the no-limit 25/50 session ? Must have been sitting in the pub with Sir Al Cant Hang ....

Friday, 6 February 2009

the Glaswegian - pt 1

i usually let these things pass straight to the recycle bin. every now and then one makes me smile :)

" Spotted this cheeky little gift set in Haddows, Copland Road , Govan last night - the guy at the counter says they sell like hot cakes !

A bottle of Buckfast, 20 Mayfair and a packet of skins - you couldn't make it up !