welcome back, gentle reader.
thought for the day - stop interfering in other peoples lives
((sort your own life, its a fucking train wreck ))
theDiktator offered me a clean slate .... like a fucking idiot I fell for it. Stayed up to silly o'clock last night playing good ole tourneys, ran deep in the nl08b one on fullTilt .... did i get a lie in ? lol did i fuck.
unfortunately running like a fucking dawg this week, mainly due to life tilt. usual nonsense, with my AA23, yes i actually got dealt a cracking starter once this week ! wonders never cease .... the stars rNg had other fucking ideas though .... 69K flop .... one of the 4, yes 4, callers has KK .... business as usual then.
on the opposite end, get dealt JQKK and the flop is all low, sigh. been running like this all week, fuck ! as a consequence, dropped $10, disaster :) stars sitting at 525, so the 1c2c will have to get fucking hammered because i am starting to get an itch to play the 10c25c ....
here is a very interesting hand .... not because of what happened at the table, more like what happened off the table ....
dealt some innocuous cards and two come along for the ride .... then my 3 kids appear, crowding round the pc, wanting to know wtf is daddy doing ? what position is daddy in ? which player is daddy ? pointing and touching the screen, tiny hands all fucking over the keyboard !
jesus, what a fucking rammy ! and without realising i call all the raises on the table and eventually get caught piggy in the middle, shit low and shit high ! thats when i raised my voice ....
GO TO BED i bawled .... the three of them, stood, open mouthed, staring .... looking at the BEMUSED look on daddy's face .... ( poker face my arse ! ) .... and they all burst out laughing ! and so did I .... fuck the poker, this was much more fun wheeeeee :)
theDiktator obviously thought I'd lost it, she appeared and ignored the fact we were all laughing our fucking faces off .... and ushered them off to bed, game over :(
oh and the guy 14 doors down has applied for an asbo , or whatever the fuck its called :) I am fairly sure most of the neighbours are actually very surprised that there is a man ?? squeak fucking squeak .... in the house ....
the situation was ridic ! so i shut the tourney and fucked off for a beer and a smoke :) when i got back i was short but managed to blag it to the final table, 7th, but no money :)
i ended up being late to bed .... ok, ok so i slept on the fucking sofa (clean slate ? don't make me fucking laugh !) .... by donking my way to a 12th of 158 runner $10+$1 nl 08b on tilt for $23 .... i have to admit liking playing on fullTilt, plenty of play there, but the software is still fucking .... antiquated .... if you want multiple tables open and do not have the luxury of two 42" monitors to fuck about on !
might as well finish on a positive (two huge fingers to life tilt, aka theDiktator, that's what i say) as usual, you nlhe donkeys should be ashamed ! letting a 4-card-bingo-player kick your arse :)
PokerStars Tournament #169962232, No Limit Hold'emBuy-In: $0.10
4791 players
$50.00 added to the prize pool by PokerStarsTotal Prize Pool: $529.10
Tournament started 2009/06/12 21:00:00 WET [2009/06/12 16:00:00 ET]
Dear dD,
You finished the tournament in 329th place. A $0.32 award ....
thanks for stopping by.
oh fuck, almost forgot .... (USA persons please note, fanny = cunt)
bloke takes the new bird home to meet the parents. "i must warn you, they are both deaf and dumb" he warns her.
They get there and walk in to the living room.
His mums got a beer bottle up her fanny and the dad is sitting there with his nuts out and a matchstick propping one eye open.
His bird says "what the fuck is this ?"
he replies " oh, its sign language ....
my mum is saying get the beers in you cunt, and me dads saying, bollocks, I'm watching the match ! "
ha ha ha ha, well it amused me. btw this was a joke text to theDiktator from her good Kafflik pal, so thanks Franny, you have got me in a shit load of trouble at work.
yes i tried to email this to a few friends .... there were plenty of ** and not one real fully formed profanity .... the works fucking profanity filter still saw fit to intervene and the email is under review, if the cunt who reviews it does not have a sense of humour, worse still, a gawd damn fucking jobsworth, then i get reported to "the management" .... depending on their mood, impartiality is not one of their strong points, I could be in for a rough fucking ride over the coming months .... they so love to "monitor" employees after we have fucked up !
.... keep the jokes coming Franny, some of them are hidden gems :)
1 comment:
Fingers crossed the jobsworth tosspots have a sense of humour.
I remember when I worked for O2 and they installed this major profanity filter that was like a fucking Nazi. Even the town Scunthorpe wouldn't get through it. It was so bad they had to uninstall it and go back to the old version!
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