Wednesday, 14 November 2007


welcome back, gentle reader.

did we all enjoy yesterdays rant ? I did *) and so nice to see some people saw it for the toungue-in-cheek-rant as it was so intended.


my good mate cell1919 , and before we go any further, I do so want to so be on his fucking list, where's my gawd damn mention ? you ungrateful SOB not need to be on "his list", to know I have helped him immensely on his quest *) ... has posted a couple of belters ! so, if you are not a regular of his, click on the links and go read ! in order you eejit, thats why the links are inserted that way ( how many people have now clicked the wrong order ... *)

ramble one cell1919
ramble two cell1919
ramble three cell1919

all good stuff i am sure you will agree. and don't come bak here and give me shit about the length of the damned things, some of us cannot, nor want, to set our scribbles down in new english tExt,

a Rosie rant

some of us like to write in the fine archaic form known as written english. me included and if you could be arsed to count the words written here, i am sure the count will rival the above.

tandoor se.

after almost a month tillerman returns.big deal you say, well actually, a thirty fucking k big deal, actually. nip on over there, have a quick read ( he does not go into any detail what-so-ever btw, saved you an extra few mouse clicks there mate :) then get your arse back here !

so, poker account "compromised" and 30k missing ... how long does it take to lose 30k ffs ?? but ... they know where the thief is from ... and tillerman hopes he/she gets some jail time ...

dont want to rain on your parade mate, but here is a tail of woe, first fucking hand woe at that. in fact fuck it, here's two for the price of one ...

many many moons ago I worked in Manchester. one evening, after a few ales, i returned to the abode of a young lady ... ok, two older slappers women ... and I lost my debit card ! either in the back of the taxi or one of them took it after the "entertainment" was over, whatever.
next morning i was off to london for a few days and when i realised i did not have my card with me, I assumed i'd left it in the hotel in manchester ... hey, i was pretty young you know !
so i return to manchester, no card ! return to glasgow two days later, go to bank, no fucking internet banking back then children, check bank account and its fucking empty ... 800 quid ... gone ... fuck !!
the motherfucker who ended up with my card had used it in the brand spanking new public telephones, which took credit cards, no-fucking-pin-number-required, thankyou, and called every fucking sex line the cunt could lay his grubby hands on ... thats right folks, an £800 telephone sex line bill ... wander if its mi5 or mi6 who monitor me .......
proceed to nearest police station, report it, sit and wait almost an hour for CID to speak to me. back then it was a serious crime, well, serious enough for CID to be interested. they take me to an interview room, one man & one woman detective, never ever forget that.
they sit me down and the first fucking thing the man cunt says
" if we find you have anything to do with this, we will get you ... "
woman cunt then chips in
" it would be better if you are honest from the start ... "

i always remember, i was totally speechless and took several minutes to lever my jaw off the floor.

after a bit they relent, take the details, give me my crime no. and send me on my very unmerry way. in the first instance the bank told me i was highly unlikely to get my money back ... fuck ! ... and i am still convinced to this day, that the only reason i got all my money refunded by the bank was due to the er, friendship er, i had going with the local branch manageress at that time *)

fast forward two decades ...

at 18.01 about one year ago, i get a phone call from my bank, they have never phoned me at home in the ten years i have banked with them ...
"have you authorised a chaps payment, sir ?"
"a what ..."
seems someone has accessed my log-on details and made a CHAPS payment for £2,000 plus change to someone else's bank account ... oh, and the bank charged my account £18 fucking quid for the fucking privelege ! wtf ??
off i go to the local police station and to put it politely, they are not interested. they want proof !!
two days later i get some paperwork from the bank, detailing the transaction. it has the receiving bank account name, sort code & account number ! back to police station who wont accept this as proof ... had to get bank to send me a fucking statement and mark the fraudulent activity on that before police would even look at it.
so eventually i have my crime no. and fax it back to bank and i had to fax it 3 times !!! before they admitted they had received it.
initially they told me it could take 6 weeks to investigate .... two days later, money back in my account.

draw your own conclusions.

the bank also admitted, off the record, that i was one of several accounts that got robbed. as if further proof were required, i was chatting to my cousin a few weeks back, we got onto this very subject and before i divulged any detail to her she had told me when it happened and also which bank it was. seems there were enough people affected that it reached the ears of the papers, Glasgow Herald i believe. no way a broadsheet reports this type of thing if only one punter has been done over.

and that was the last i heard.

chances of criminal prosecution for either of us, tillerman ? close to zero, certainly in my case, sincerely hope i am so wrong on that one.


and on a lighter note, here is one that always amuses me :)

True story apparently, It's about the bond formed between a little girl and a gang of building workers. It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building plot.
One day a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the hairy ar$ed builders (but all with hearts of gold) moreor less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

"You must have worked very hard to earn all this" said the bank cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men building a big house."

"My goodness gracious," said the cashier,

"Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"

The little girl thought for a moment and said,

"I think so. Provided those cunts at Jewson deliver the fucking bricks."


Peter said...

Nice blog! More people should read it. If you want, you can register your blog It is free and and it automatically updates when you do an update, so visitors of our site can see when you updated your blog. The big advantage is that it will attract much more visitors to your blog.

Greets Peter

Cell 1919 said...

What can I say...thanks for making me laugh (in a sort of laughing at others' misfortune in a chummy, matey sort of way...ahem!).

I like the look of that Cell bloke's blog. I might stake him if he's lucky.

Keep on trucking fella :)

Mike & Lou said...

LOOOOOL - what a nice story - (about the little girl not the account theft)- proper made me smile, nice one.


Gankzilla said...

Aha! Glad you posted on my blog, or else I wouldn't have had the pleasure of stumbling on to yours. I agree with Peter, I think more people should come here and take advantage of the insight from a fellow Scot ;)

Sorry to hear about your bad run on HORSE, bloody vicious game.